Tayter-Tot Casserole--of quotes

This is going to be like the VMAs of Tot quotes--I've been super lazy and they're building up soooo before I forget them... here are some ridic things this little Casserole has thrown at me over the last few months

-Blow drying my hair: 
"Mom?, did you TRY to make your hair that color?"
"Sorta--why?"
"You look Goth"

-Just chillin'
"Mom? wouldn't you be soooo freaked out if someone lifted up your pant legs?"
"Random...why would someone lift up my pant leg?"
"Just pretend!...like you were at the mall..and someone lifted up your pant legs to see your legs--wouldn't you be soooo embarrassed?!?"
"Whhyyyyyyy would this happen and why would I be embarrassed?"
"becauuuuse--you have all those freckles!!"

-Driving to school
"Mom, I'd rather barf than listen to this song--can we CHANGE it?"

-Grocery Shopping
"Mom, do you ever scare strangers?"
"Not intentionally--whyyy?"
"I just did"

-Self Examination
"Mom? Can you tell what nipple my teacher elbowed me in?"
"WHAAAAAAT?"
"My teacher elbowed me in my nipple and now one is bigger than the other--you can totally tell! And it hurts!"
"I...can't...tell..."
"Yes you can...LOOK!"

-Pick up
"Mom? Have I had all my shots?"
(laughter)"yes, but you're not spayed, why?"
"In class today I was suuuuper itchy and Ms Sara said maybe I had chicken pox and asked if I had gotten the shot"
"yes...you've had your 'shots'"

Ear Muffs!

For those of you with babies or toddlers who have found yourself saying "I can't wait until they can talk"...this may change your mind :)

For some reason...the more quietly you speak...the more your child chooses to tune in.  I could tell Taytum to brush her teeth 27 times and get zero response...I whisper ANYTHING...and she asks me 20 questions about what I'm talking about...especially if any type of food is involved.

If you think your kid isn't listening because they are:
a) not physically in the same room
b) you're talking discretely

You're WRONG ....they're listening....case AND point...

"Mom, I told Nana something today that was bothering me..."
"What was it?"
"Well...she always tells me to come to her if something is bothering me..."
"Yep, that's good--what's bothering you?"
"Well, I told her that sometimes when I go to bed...You and Aunt Robin stay up in the Kitchen and talk bad about her..."

(Picked up dropped jaw)

Pause:  Morally, She did the "right thing" ...so I struggled with whether or not I should threaten to NOT buy the Unicorn I've been promising since she was 4 or to embrace her willingness to throw me under the bus so her feelings could be acknowledged.  I went with the later...unpause.

"Thaaaat's grrreeeat Tay, I'm glad you were able to talk about your feelings"
"Well it does bother me"
"Sorry, I'm glad you went to Nana, and you can come to me and Aunt Robin too..."

Moral of the story--your kid is always listening and they WILL stab you in the back if you talk smack about their Nana.